brighdhefionn

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grinderman2:

frozenfoxtails:

grinderman2:

*gets on tiptoes to whisper into dairy cow’s ear* why ya titty out

How short are you that you need to stand on your toes to talk to a cow?

Looks like we got ourselves a city slicker

(via lyxdelsic)

rocknrollercoaster:

turns ons:

  • touchin my butt
  • touchin ur butt

turn offs:

  • no butt touchin

(via spaghettihos)

red-lipstick:

Taylor Marie McCormick aka Lalasiy - 1: Float On, 2012  2: 3.52, 2011  3: Starrs, 2012  4: Nightlights, 2012  5: Cosmic, 2012  6: White Night, 2012  7: Trance, 2012      Photography

(Source: taylor-mccormick)

blunk182:

DATING TIP: Hold the door for your date. Rip the door off its hinges. Use the door as a weapon to fight off other men. Establish dominance.

(via ryecatchers)

doctorsilencewillfall:

mothwizard:

me: i want something very short and small and cutesy but most importantly body safe and discreet

sex toy companies: try the DEVASTATOR SEVENTY THREE INCHES OF PURE JELLY RUBBER HYPER REALISTIC VEINS WE SHOWED IT TO A NUN ONCE AND SHE BURST INTO FLAMES THERE’S ONLY ONE SETTING: DEVASTATION THE VIBRATIONS CAUSED AN EARTHQUAKE MILLIONS ARE DEAD

i am dead and this is the post that killed me

(via affectionism)